Has this ever happened to you?  Really?  It has?  Then you know what?  YOU SHOULD NOT WEAR THAT SHIRT.

The premise of Cami Secret is as follows:
1.  You have a low-cut shirt.
2.  Inexplicably, you want to wear it to work.  NO OTHER SHIRT WILL DO.
3.  You lack a camisole, thin t-shirt, tank top, or any other thing you can wear as a layer to cover your cleavage.

Maybe this is a thing that happens to people.  It has never happened to me.  But admittedly, I am not a fashion maven. 

As an example, today I am wearing a t-shirt that I got for free from my job-before-last, about five years ago.  Yesterday I wore a sweet Firefly-inspired t-shirt.  The day before that, I wore a mock Henley that I bought at Walmart for like four dollars.  You get the picture.

Now don't get me wrong, inappropriate cleavage is a real problem.  It causes unwanted attention in the office, creates the impression that you're unprofessional, and may get you sent home from your job.  That is why YOU SHOULD NOT WEAR THAT SHIRT.

You have a lot of shirts, yes?  Hell, I have five shirts myself!  And I'm the sort of person who wears sweat pants to the grocery store.  Surely you have more shirts than I do.  How could it be otherwise? 

"You've tried safety pins, the commercial asserts.  Have you, really?  Because that's just sad.  Let me give you a tip: if you have to use safety pins to try and make your shirt appropriate office attire, then YOU SHOULD NOT WEAR THAT SHIRT.

The Cami Secret exists in that strange territory between "actual undergarment" and "female dickey."  Technically I fear it may be considered a "mock dickey," the thought of which makes my head hurt.

Although Dr. Venture can rock a dickey like nobody's business, this is a garment which has largely fallen by the wayside.  (In favor of, e.g., wearing an actual turtleneck shirt under your real shirt, if that is the look you are going for.)

Many shirts actually come with their own Cami Secrets pre-installed.  I noticed this the last time I went shirt shopping in an actual clothing store (n.b. mid-2009).  I found the lace trim to be peculiar, a little bit fusty, and oddly matronly.  When I tried the shirt on, it looked for all the world like I was wearing my grandmother's nylon panties over my boobs.  I decided to pass.  (Go directly to Threadless.  Do not pass go.  Do not collect $200.)

Despite the narrator's high-pitched outrage at camisoles that you're constantly "tugging and adjusting all day long," I am willing to bet that the Cami Secret is not much better.  I note that its height is adjustable.  This only means that it will inevitably start sliding down during the day. 

You may initially wear it up near your collar bone, all professional like, but by the time your afternoon coffee break rolls around, that thing's going to be wedged in your cleavage, hanging halfway out the bottom of your shirt.  The shirt that you JUST HAD TO WEAR, even though it's not appropriate for the office.