Craptastic! Redneck Fashion

I want to howl at your moon!"After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called meth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark."

Amazon.com review by B.Govern

http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Short-Sleeve-Black/dp/B000NZW3KC/re...

My morning began (at noon), reading an email that had long been awaiting that one conciliatory click of my mouse for weeks. A click which led to the open, scan, read, and follow through of further link clicking and to a morning (er, afternoon) of pure joy! Yes, there was chuckling and then cackling, as I continued to read the user reviews on Amazon.com for these t-shirts from The Mountain Men. There are over a thousand reviews for this one shirt, Three Wolves, and most of them are well-written and hilarious. The wolf, wild animal, and dragon designs from The Mountain Men have been enjoying a surge of attention from the internet and it is easy to see why.

With the comeback of the 80's in high fashion and viral hit hater websites mocking Wal-Mart patrons on the front page of CNN, it's no wonder that redneck fashion is hip. There is something cool about the wolf t-shirts. Hipsters and yuppies may mock redneck fashion but, they still wear their flannels and graphic tees over $200 skin tight jeans and slouchy boots. Why? What does redneck fashion really say to the fashionistas sipping cosmos clutching $1,000 designer bags at your local bar? It says, "I don't give a f$ck. I'm not trying to impress you, or anyone. I am sick of consumerism invading every facet of my life and yes, I am drinking PBR out of can and no, I won't buy you a drink. Ever." And for guys, this reverse psychology often does work magic. Got a pretty face but, not much else going for you? Make sure you get yourself one of these t-shirts. Man or woman, you'll get your point across.

Wearing a redneck t-shirt tells the world that you are tired of playing games, you're not interested in climbing the corporate ladder, and what's wrong with tractor pulls anyway? Have you ever been to one? The clash between country and city folk may have found its bridge, in The Mountain Men. Their line of t-shirts have never made apathetic 20-somethings look so good. The organic cotton and natural dyes weave garments that scream, "Despite my razored hair, I am the least pretenious person in the room!" And you know what? In that moment, it's probably true. This is a shirt that will take you down a notch, in every one's eyes but, inside you'll be smiling because the joke's on them.

At the end of the day, the user reviews are selling these t-shirts like hotcakes and secretly, who doesn't want to wear a shirt with wolves howling at the moon? Or frolicking in the snow? Or singing to the sun? It's everyone's guilty little secret. Go ahead and indulge. Now that everyone is openly making fun of it, it's cool again but, hurry before the 90's comeback has run its course this fall. By the time Spring 2010 rolls around, we'll all be dressed in metallics with huge shoulders and ready for the 2nd wave of space racing. So get your wolves on while it's hot!