This is a product which started out - as far as I can tell - as a big full-page ad in the Parade section of the Sunday newspaper.  Now it has its very own infomercial!  And the infomercial is SO AWESOME.

(First of all, I realize that this is unfair, but I hate this ad for the font it uses.  It's not Heat Surge's fault that their ad is filled with Copperplate in small caps, and that this happens to be the font which was used extensively on the website of a particularly stupid and annoying ex-boyfriend.  But it's true nevertheless.)

The Heat Surge is - despite their many protestations to the contrary - a space heater with a fancy enclosure.  A $300 space heater with a fancy enclosure.  An enclosure so fancy that it was made by the Amish, by hand, just for you. 

Much is made of the Amish connection.  Let me tell you something about the Amish: they ain't all that.  First of all, it's a religion where, if you decide not to participate, you can NEVER SEE OR SPEAK TO YOUR FAMILY AGAIN.  Second of all, everyone's totally working the system by keeping cell phones in their barns and stuff.  Third of all, it's a very female-unfriendly society.  Fourth of all, they treat their animals poorly, and the Amish run most of this country's puppy mills.

So no, I'm not a big fan of the Amish. 

Another big selling point is that the Heat Surge will save money on your heating bill.  The infomercial hits this point pretty hard.  Everyone in the infomercial agrees that their heating bill went down when they started using the Heat Surge.

Let me tell you something: if your heating bill drops when you start using a space heater, you're doing it wrong.  A clue here is when they cut to a hand turning a thermostat down from 78.  78! 

I suspect most of the people in these ads are heating their whole entire house, when clearly all they need to do is heat their TV rooms.  An unkind thing to say, but borne out by the fact that clearly all the customer testimonials are filmed in the customers' TV rooms.  And they're the kind of TV rooms where each family member has their own recliner, and no one ever leaves except to get food or use the bathroom.

(Have I mentioned recently that 80% of U.S. families did not buy or read a book last year?  Or that 42% of college graduates never read a book after college?  I have?  Just checking.)

I would be remiss in not issuing a shout-out for all the wonderful jargon this ad throws around, from "fireless flame technology" (fake flames) to "high tech air turbine" (fan).  And I never fail to giggle when they mention that it "has earned the coveted UL listing."  Just like my desk lamp! 

And speaking of those customer testimonials, every time I spot this infomercial I sit and eagerly await The Pink Room.  Watch the ad - this is a room which is done entirely in shades of puce.  From the wall paint to the lamp shade, it is 100% puce.  LOVE IT.