The Flexseal Screen Door Boat

The Flexseal Screen Door Boat

Why can't I look away?
I have seen many late-night ads for Flexseal, and one thing always stops me dead: the screen door boat. This is one of the most brilliant bits of commercial showmanship on the air today. I'm willing to bet there are kids today who will remember the Flexseal screen door boat decades from now, the way we old folk remember 80s ads like "Where's the beef?"
 
Flexseal is a sort of aerosolized rubber. It sprays on like spray paint, and hardens to create a seal which is famously waterproof. The ad shows people using Flexseal on ordinary things like cracked plant pots and leaky gutters. 

 
I don't honestly have the faintest idea what I would ever use Flexseal for. And I live in a rural area in a part of the nation that gets a ton of rain. But if I have something leaking, I just, you know… repair it. Or put a tarp over it. Whichever suits the situation best.
 
And then we get to the screen door boat! They take a regular screen door (we are assured it is not some kind of trick screen door) and start spraying on the Flexseal. I guess if you spray enough of this stuff on window screen, it makes it watertight. To the extent that they replace the bottom of a rowboat with this Flexseal-covered screen door. And miracle of miracles, the boat not only floats, it stays bone dry inside!
 
Granted, you could accomplish this same thing many other ways. In fact, I can think of at least two other "As Seen On TV" products that could do the same thing. (Space Bag and Seal-A-Meal). Let's face it: if you think about it, it's not really that big an accomplishment to make a screen door watertight. I could do it with some sealant and one of my aforementioned tarps. You could do it with candle wax. Fiberglass. Spray foam insulation. Honestly, the mind boggles.
 
But that doesn't keep it from being an arresting sight, as the announcer paddles awkwardly around in a half-circle. It's a screen door! Covered in Flexseal! I have to admire the showmanship, even as I'm rolling my eyes at the corniness and silliness of the stunt.
 
I tell you what they need to do: team up with the folks behind Magic Mesh, the "instant screen door." That's a match made in Heaven!