What? Why would you need to buy your eggs in a carton, take them out, and put them in a different carton? Unless you're collecting your eggs from the hens that live in your backyard--and let's face it, most Crate & Barrel customers aren't--this half-dozen porcelain container is just a pretentious way to pretty up your fridge.
Did I miss something? Is there a problem with putting bananas on the counter, or even in your precious fruit basket? Does it make them go bad more quickly? Do you just like pretending you're picking them from the trees in the comfort of your over-equipped home?
Suddenly drawers aren't good enough. No, we need a "handsome" hundred and thirty dollar box with an "espresso finish" to display the finest of our forks. I get the in-drawer organizers--I have one and I enjoy sorting out the big spoons from the little ones--but a whole seperate box? Maybe it makes sense if you have enough fancy silver that you only break out at your dinner parties for 12, but if your friends are too high and mighty for your daily drawer-stored flatware, they probably aren't very good friends anyway.
A device designed exclusively for spreading butter on your corn on the cob. That's it. That's all it does. For people who are above holding butter by its wrapper, we have a tiny stainless steel box. Congrats! Your swanky tastes have been catered to. I bet you didn't even know you needed this; now you see yourself in the hot summer, smearing butter on your corn with a knife or directly from its wax paper, and you realize what a fool you've been. But worry not! It's never too late to mend your errors. You can still buy this thing for only nine dollars. Praise the heavens!
Oh, gosh. Not only does it take the green stuff off your strawberries, it even looks like a strawberry itself. How have I lived so long without one of these on my person at all times? Speaking of strawberries...
Wow! All this time I'd been rinsing my berries in my regular colander. I bet I looked like an idiot! Thanks, Crate & Barrel, for making a special berry-sized colander just for me.
Here I thought herbs were weak little things. Little did I know you need a five-bladed weapon to defeat them.
How else will I know how much spaghetti I should eat? (Hint: one pound per four people. Do the rest of the math yourself like a big kid.)
Because skewers just don't cut it anymore, now we need a specially branded utensil for s'mores. Back in my day, we used sticks foraged from the forest to toast our 'shmallows...
I could go on but I have to stop for the sake of my mental health. It just enrages me that there's a market for this kind of stuff. If nothing else, Crate & Barrel's catalogue is a sign that the upper ends of our society have way too much money to spend on the most superfluous crap.