Why Pajama Jeans Suck

Ok. I am all for comfort, but some clothing items just go too far. The Snuggie. Wearing slippers to the grocery store. You get the picture. There should be some amount of modern decorum in your attire, whether you leave the house or not. Sure, if you are staying home sick, wear your pj’s and that oversized cardigan sweater with pockets big enough to hold an entire box of Kleenex and a year’s supply of cough drops. But, walking to the mailbox? Running into the grocery store? Dropping the kids off at school? No. You need something that, at the very least, will not embarrass your kids for life. Enter Pajama Jeans, right? Wrong!

That’s what the manufacturers would like you to believe. They claim that these jeans are so comfortable that you “will want to sleep in them” and they are proud of the fact that there are “no buttons or zippers”. First of all, wanting to sleep in your clothes is totally abnormal. You sleep in pajamas or the nude, not in jeans. Furthermore, going through life with a zipper to pull up makes you completely oblivious to any and all weight gain. You can turn around only to realize that you put on 20 pounds over the holidays without even realizing it. Zippers are good. Zippers control you mentally and physically.

Oh, one last comment, any clothing item entitled “Skinny”, a la Skinny Jeans, that comes in a 3XL is not a good thing. I am not knocking people who happen t be a little larger, but, let’s just say Skinny Jeans are not doing you any favors after a certain size. *ahem*