Will Someone Please Give Me Herpes?!

Will Someone Please Give Me Herpes?!

Giant Plush Microbes deliver adorable diseases.

Um, ok? There is a new line of plush toys out. I can only assume that they are dedicated for the more math and science-oriented kids. You know, the nerdy ones. It’s ok I can say that; I have one. Who am I kidding? I have three nerdy girls, but one is particularly nerdy. I figure it’s better than raising the head cheerleader, less “boy stresses” later.

So, these plush toys are, ahem, microbes (Giant Plush Microbes). Yes, that kind of microbe. Well, no, they do not actually GET you sick. They just resemble them in a cute (?) and cuddly (?) way. Sort of.  I mean, it wouldn’t be so bad if there were a handful of common microbes. The site, however, has close to 100 of the little stuffed germs, diseases and parasites. Sure, it would be funny to send an ex-boyfriend a box set of venereals, including chlamydia, Syphilis, the clap AND herpes. Funny, in a sick, you-shouldn’t-have-cheated-on-me-you-loser kind of way.

A scientist friend might find humor in receiving a plush version of her life’s work, but what kid really wants to snuggle up with cimex lectularius, dermatophagoides pteronyssinus or lucilia sericata? That would be: a bed bug, a dust mite or a maggot. Although, you could nickname that cute little maggot Lucy…no?

Ooh! Wait – my mother-in-law! I could send her C.Diff or diarrhea. LOL I could really get in trouble here. She’s not exactly my favorite person. Where were we? Oh yea, fluffy, snuggley microbes. Crappy for sweet dreams, funny as gifts.