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Lindsey Lohan attempts to save career with "art" video

Remember when Lindsay Lohan used to be a real actress?  No?  Nobody else seems to remember it, either.  But she used to be good—plucky and cute, her facial expressions sincere, not quite as exaggerated as the starlets’ of her generation. She used to be the starlet everybody loved—the next Lucille Ball—she played a lovable set of twins in the Parent Trap and a relatable (but more attractive than average) nerd in Mean Girls.

But acting doesn’t seem to hold her interest long nowadays. She’s on to different activities. She parties a lot and does a lot of drugs.  She fights with her girlfriends and boyfriends, her relatives and her parents.  She hides from the paparazzi, who have ruined her life with their constant cameras.

Needless to say, she’s not in high demand to be a serious actress.

When your career is down in the dumps, the obvious next step is to make an “esoteric” art film! Which is just what Lohan did.

Take a look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srPGXmM4oTU

Painter Richard Phillips shot the video of Lohan about a month ago in Malibu.  The 90-second video began playing in the Gagosian Gallery in New York City gallery on June 1, and will continue through the 5th of this month. 

Phillips never made a film before this one, he says, not even on his iPhone. He is pretty famous—his paintings were even featured on the teen show The O.C.—so his artistic relationship with Lindsey is a no-brainer. The artist is known for his hyper-realistic painting style, usually choosing female subjects clipped from fashion magazines or from soft-core porn from the 1950’s, ‘60s and ‘70s.

And it’s completely apparent.  Lohan may as well be a fashion model at a fashion shoot in this video. She doesn’t do anything but open her eyes and mouth more widely as the camera continues to be pointed at her. Sometimes, she stares at things.

The video is slow with looped music, repeating the same epic, fading guitar chords throughout each segment. The first features Lohan in a swimming pool staring across it into the blue of the ocean. Why is it necessary to have a pool with the ocean so close? Phillips seems to say, that’s American life, baby!

Next, Lohan is in a black sweater turtle-neck, her blonde hair messy, her lips painted pink, her eyes in intense cat-eye makeup, against a white backdrop. She stares and pouts.

She wears the turtleneck sans pants near the sea.

The apparent culmination of the video happens when Lohan sees herself on the big screen and she cannot recognize the painted face pouting on it. She presses her hand against the screen. It’s you, Lindsey! Get it? 

You get it.  It’s ‘60’s nostalgia mixed with a little bit of why-can’t-life-be-real-like-it-was-back-then. Now, the water is fake, all the good movies have already been made and the starlets can’t even recognize themselves on the big screen.

Overall, the film strange and self-referential.  Poor, poor celebrities.  You’d think they’d recognize that alcohol addiction and getting followed around by the paparazzi goes with the territory. Frankly, the fact that you can’t recognize yourself anymore is your problem.