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Zoo Pals: The Paper Plates From Hell

Zoo Pals. My kids beg for these things. They have never actually seen them in person. Never touched them. Never talked to other kids about them. It’s just the song. The annoying song. I hate the song.

Here… you listen and tell me it’s NOT obnoxious.

It ranks right up there with Barnie, right? Ugh! That song rattles around in my brain for hours. I mean, my kids drive me crazy for these stupid Zoo Pals and they are just paper plates. Paper plates, people! Paper plates are bad for the environment as it is, but now you want parents to buy them for the simple fact that you think it will make “eating fun”? Somehow all picky eaters, across America, will be so overcome with desire to see the entire Zoo Pal face that they will voraciously eat everything in their line of sight? Really?

Never mind the fact that the plate will be messy. In fact, the commercial shows happy children cheerfully gobbling up vegetables with ranch dressing and tater tots with ketchup, all for the chance to play with their plate upon completion. In the real world, it wouldn’t go down like that. First, the kids probably wouldn’t let you place any food on the plate because they would want to play, not eat. Second, no rational parent would let a kid run around the house playing with a used paper plate, dripping with ketchup. And, third, it’s just stupid!

Zoo Pals must have been successful because their parent organization was recently purchased by Hefty. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen the commercials in a while. Maybe some executive at Hefty was so sick of them that he bought the company just to SHUT THEM UP! Yea – go Hefty!