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The Weird, Unnecessary and Dangerous Inventions of 2011

Who has enough money to buy this junk?

Inventors are always creating things that make our lives easier. We didn’t know how difficult it was to cut a pizza with a knife until the creation of pizza scissors. We didn’t realize how hard it was to brew a cup of tea until we knew we couldn’t live up to our full potential without Hanger Tea. Our lives our so much better because of indispensable inventions made this year. Let’s take a look at some of them:

Pizza Scissors. This one is sort of self-explanatory, but then again, so is the traditional roll slicer usually used to cut pizza. You use scissors to snip away at your slice, Then, you serve the pizza with a triangular serving tray that is attached to the scissors. You can also disassemble the scissors so you can wash them. Was it really that hard to cut pizza before?

Cubic watermelon. These square watermelon are grown in a box so they are more transportable, easier to cut, etc… I personally don’t like eating modified fruit because there could be some sort of alien baby inside, and I don’t know if it’s right to alter the naturally occurring dimensions of a fruit just to make it easier ourselves. But, hey, people probably think it’s cool, so screw the consequences. What else is new? 

Egg-cutters in the shape of flowers. These are kind of cute, but perhaps a bit too cheery for any morning besides Sunday. They are basically a cookie cutter, but won’t melt in a pan, so you can crack your egg in one, and come away with a flowery creation. I wonder if flowery eggs help you with your daily serving of vegetables? Yuk, yuk, yuk. 

Hanger Tea. These tea packets come hung on little yellow hangers, which, in turn are hung in a miniature closet. I guess the practical purpose is to use the little hook on the side of your mug so you can easily pull it out when you’re finished steeping, but the result is a packaging nightmare. I don’t want to kill several trees just to drink a cup of tea. My current wire strainer works just fine—more cheaply and more environmentally friendly, too.

Banana Keeper. The banana keeper is a plastic Tupperware case that is supposed to keep bananas fresh for longer. I don’t know about you, but I thought that the skin of the banana kept the banana fresh longer? It’s also supposed to keep your banana from getting crushed on the way to work, but seriously, if your banana gets so smashed in twenty minutes, you're definitely doing it wrong.