Comment permalink

The Olde Brooklyn Lantern

OK, I admit it - I want one!

So many things are hilarious about this infomercial. Not least among them is the fact that I am totally sold on this item. I have made a mental note to keep an eye out for them at Walgreen's (where they often have end cap displays of "As Seen On TV" items on sale).

I particularly love the bit where the old lady drops her flashlight into her spaghetti and stares at it with exasperation. Darn those greasy flashlights, falling off your shoulder when you least expect it!
 
LED lanterns are pretty much the only way to go these days. I live in a remote rural area where we have frequent power outages (some of them days long), especially in the late fall/early winter storm season. And I swear by the things. 

Many people dislike LED lanterns, I guess because they are not romantic enough. Personally whenever I see a hurricane lantern, I don't think "romance," I think "Mrs. O'Leary's cow." Gas and oil lanterns really are dangerous. If you have pets or children, they are easily knocked over and broken. Any time you have a system where you are setting out a glass object full of flammable material AND you are burning that flammable material, you are just asking for trouble.
 
Last year my LED lantern finally failed, and replacing its impressive suite of D batteries did nothing. Therefore I have been keeping my eye out for a new one. But I have to admit, I am not sure I can bring myself to use something as ridiculously styled and named as the Olde Brooklyn Lantern. 
 
One downfall to my old lantern was that it was directional - a fault that the Olde Brooklyn Lantern improves upon. However, the infomercial makes no mention as to whether you can replace the batteries in your Olde Brooklyn Lantern when they run out. This leads me to strongly suspect that this is a single-use item, and once the batteries are dead, that's it - it goes straight into the trash. What a pity, and what a waste, and how little we need another lump of plastic to send to the dump.
 
And as useful as the Olde Brooklyn Lantern undoubtedly is, I don't think that I would have the guts to use it for walking my dog down a suburban street, as depicted in the ad. I am also not entirely sure where they get "Brooklyn" from.