product on air at QVC and we are left wondering, “Why on earth would she volunteer to do that on national television?” Better yet, why on earth would she do it knowing that it can be seen forever with the assistance of YouTube?
What am I talking about? The Facial Flex, of course. It’s this amazing little device that helps you avoid the knife and strengthen those facial muscles the old-fashioned way: exercise! Stop! Don’t laugh. You can exercise your cheeks and neck. Just watch Lisa.
And, for just $29.95, you can tone your way to a tighter jawline just like Lisa. In fact, in the YouTube clip, Lisa has a caller report that she uses the product every day in her car as she drives to work. Can you imagine the looks she gets from her fellow commuters? Ha! Poor Lisa can’t even respond verbally. She just nods and points. The medieval, I mean amazing, contraption in her mouth prevents her from doing much of anything else.
Don’t feel too bad for poor Lis, though. Top hosts on shopping channels like QVC and HSN make well, and I mean WELL, into the 6 figures.
Oh, and yes. This particular clip made the rounds of all the talk shows, news outlets and late-night laughs the week that it originally aired.
And I love previews, so that sucks. But if crap like this is going to be advertized before the movie or the previews begin, you can count us out. Last night my best friend and I took our daughters to go see The Lorax. While our kids loved the movie—and what kid wouldn’t, with its bright colors and big song numbers?—the two of us had some real issues with it. But that’s another post.
Before the film itself, we were subjected to something utterly horrifying that pissed us both off to the point that we were glaring at one another above our daughters’ ecstatic, grinning heads—a commercial for these ridiculous Dizzy Dancer toys from Hasbro. Apparently part of the Fur Real franchise, these stupid animal toys with fluffs of fur on their heads were pinches of plastic shaped like tops that could spin on your hand or pencil or whatever.
The things were annoying enough as they were—with spinning on various surfaces being called “different tricks,” and a really annoying super!perky little girl narrating the entire commercial—but to have the plastic pieces associated with a movie that’s supposed to be about saving the environment was a double smack in the face to those watching the movie: Save trees, kids! But buy our plastic useless crap, too!
I sincerely doubt that the Lorax would approve of Dizzy Dancers—and especially not of the plastic they are made out of, the trees used for their packaging, or the consumerism their product and commercial promotes. In fact, with all of the mockery of the plastic in the film, you would think that they’d have chosen another children’s film to open up with this commercial…which frightens me.
I really don’t want our kids’ movies—or any movies—being led into with products like this. In fact, I was pretty pissed when we started seeing commercials for Gatorade and cars as it is; it’s one thing for local companies to buy ads but it’s another to get giant companies selling their wares in your face when you just PAID to see a movie. Stick to the previews!
If theaters want our money, they should keep prices affordable and work on getting more of us in the doors—not scare us away with tactics like this crap. You can believe me when I say that if this happens again, we’ll simply wait until the previews are over—or, better yet, wait until it’s on video.
Yes. He/she/it is the headline entertainment for the show. Oh, Michigan. How low have we sunk? Is this truly entertainment? The PETA implications notwithstanding, why would you want to see a squirrel in waterskis? Does that sound interesting to you?
We gave the world The Supremes and The Temptations. Madonna and Bob Segar. Eminem and Kid Rock. We gave our best and yet, at the Michigan Home and Garden Show, we get Twiggy? I am at a loss. I am confused. I am horrified!
Not to mention, who in their right mind would think to themselves, “Hey, I know what we can do today. Let’s catch us a squirrel and teach it to waterski. Now, that would be funny. We can make millions. Those dumb*sses in Michigan would pay big bucks to see that.”
To his (or her?) credit, Twiggy actually has a cult following, a YouTube channel and a website. If you log on, you can see his tour schedule for the 2012 season (is there a season for waterskiing squirrels or are they referring to hunting season?), information about water safety for the younger fans and links to his sponsors. Yes, he has real, live sponsors. I wonder if Twiggy tweets … too much?
These are advertised as the thing that you need if you want to be able to create some of the hairdo’s of the past as they require you to have about five heads worth of hair to get the desired look. Instead, you can just stick these in and you will be rocking that look in no time indeed. You can also get them in different colours so it will blend in with the rest of your hair and no one will ever suspect that you did not grow another few heads worth of hair since you last saw them.
When you are ready to create your new styles, you will need to equip yourself with the Bumpits! as well as some bobby pins or other pieces of hair equipment to help everything stay in place for the duration. Even though these have little teeth on them to keep the hair and clips in place, depending on how thick your hair is, you may still find that these start to fall out and you lose the volume that you wanted.
The kinda gross bit is that the hard-boiled eggs end up with a flat end, quite unlike a normal heard boiled egg. As it cooks, the egg fills the plastic container and cooks with a flat top. How do you make a deviled egg when the finished product stands up straight instead of lying on its side? It doesn’t save any time or improve on the product at all. Mother Nature made a nice little package for the egg; why mess with it?
I don’t know. It is just so easy to put some eggs in a pan of cold water, bring it to a boil, take it off the heat and let them sit, untouched, for 20 minutes. Perfect every time. And, easy to peel as well. There is no need for extra plastic do-hickies in my kitchen junk drawers.
Do you have tops that you know would be great for the office if it wasn’t for the front going down too far and showing off cleavage? I know that I have tonnes of these in my wardrobe because bar star clothing only has one issue in it when it comes to the office – cleavage!
While I could see this working well for shirts that are maybe just a tad too low, but if that shirt is quite a bit too low, like belly button low? You are going to need to attach a few Cami Secrets to cover up all that extra skin! And that is going to just look silly and foolish and your co-workers are going to wonder about the wisdom of wearing that shirt to work before or after you attach the fabric
I don’t know about you, but my bra straps have a hard time staying where I want them to. So what happens when I attach this bit to my straps and then they fall down around my elbows? Is the cami going to stay in place or is it going to migrate or just come unclipped and bunch around my belly making me look bloated or pregnant?
That’s what the manufacturers would like you to believe. They claim that these jeans are so comfortable that you “will want to sleep in them” and they are proud of the fact that there are “no buttons or zippers”. First of all, wanting to sleep in your clothes is totally abnormal. You sleep in pajamas or the nude, not in jeans. Furthermore, going through life with a zipper to pull up makes you completely oblivious to any and all weight gain. You can turn around only to realize that you put on 20 pounds over the holidays without even realizing it. Zippers are good. Zippers control you mentally and physically.
Oh, one last comment, any clothing item entitled “Skinny”, a la Skinny Jeans, that comes in a 3XL is not a good thing. I am not knocking people who happen t be a little larger, but, let’s just say Skinny Jeans are not doing you any favors after a certain size. *ahem*
I mean, if you thought the Snuggie was bad (and all those copycat versions out there), trust me, this is waaaayy worse. In fact, it takes the concept of wrapping your body in polar fleece to a whole new level of slacker. Not only does the Forever Lazy allow you to plop on the sofa, in front of the TV or with a good book (yea, right) all day but it also helps you … how does one put this delicately… relieve yourself without actually undressing. Yes. You read that right. People have now become so lazy that they choose products that make urinating and defecating less of a nuisance, less of a hassle. We all love a good pair of slip on shoes, but this is ridiculous.
Of course, you are probably assuming that no one in their right mind would make such a purchase. Come on. I know you are curious. You don’t want to read any further, and yet, you do. It is one of the most popular items currently available at AsSeenOnTV.com, right up there with Pajama Jeans. *shudders*